I said to Big Fella as we stood in the kitchen preparing food at the weekend, Paolo Nutini desperate to be heard over Mickey Mouse's (damned) Clubhouse, "I think my dancing days are over". I was referring to my awkward movements to Paolo as well as increasingly feeling my age.
Big Fella chuckled but agreed, it seems since we hit our mid 30's things aren't what we had hoped and now I'm beginning to inspect my wrinkles too (I prefer laughter lines) - so yesterday I decided to rummage through eBay to cheer myself up after repeatedly asking myself "what happened to me?"
It's been at least 2 years since I've bothered about wearing heels - I've always been a 'flats' girl but occasionally I did allow myself to deviate with delight, but after eyeing the beauties above I realise I have not lost my desire for a beautiful pair of heels. My dancing days may be over, but my love for a gorgeous pair of shoes is most definately not - so, Choo or Louboutin? No, Karen Millen.
OK, so the striking Karen Millen black satin heels (pictured top) aren't mine, but the animal print ones are and I bought them after having my first boy - fed up of trudging around in flip flops for the best part of 9 months I wanted a bit of glamour, I wore them quite a bit before 2 kids meant less offers of a babysitter (!) but they remain in their metallic blue box in my wardrobe where I occasionally get them out and drool over them, but my desire didn't end at one pair.
This time desire came in the shape of a pair of pink satin slingbacks with a feather and diamante. Totally impractical to wear but my goodness they are divine.
The more I browsed, the more I wanted. Big Fella was more than a little twitchy and my appeals that I bought them from eBay were not a comfort.
Then I started getting silly, purchasing these gorgeous pink satin and velvet ribbon heels from Karen Millen knowing I'd probably never have the occassion (or the courage) to wear them.
A trip to York resulted in these, but fantasies of indulgent dinner evenings were dashed as a week later I discovered I was pregnant with my second boy. I plodded around in flip flops yet again, groaning through 12 weeks of sickness and emerged determined not to spend the remainder of the pregnancy as I had my first. I remember teetering to our then local Mexican restaurant with Big Fella and a 6 month bump in skinny flared maternity jeans, a fitted polo neck and these silver heels and feeling quite proud I'd managed it - but God was I glad to get home!
The pointest shoes I think I've ever seen were a purchase from LK Bennet in Manchester about 4 years ago and I have to say I love them as much now as then, in fact, I still wear them - a much more "sensible" shoe I think as well as rather pleasing on the eye.
After my second boy was born I explored the wedge heel although it didn't quite feel the same anymore, no heel did, so was my love affair with the uber sexy 4 inch heel over?
It's not so much I no longer love a heel, it's about when I can wear them and with what. I no longer go out as frequent as before the boys, but even when I do it's rare Big Fella and I choose a fine dining restaurant, these days we prefer our local bohemian cafe bar with low lighting and a dish of olives; in our town there isn't room for Karen Millen heels or a LBD even if I wanted to, and not just because I tire of wellies and flip flops.
I needed a compromise.
And these animal print ballet pumps were it, alongside my faithfuls - the perpertual "flat's girl's" footwear.
But that does not mean I don't enjoy a good eyeful of a pair of beautiful black satin heels and making up an scenerio in my head so I can wear them - and I bet I could bloody well dance in them too.